You

I was a mess, before I met you. My life before you was like the wildest of William Turner’s oceans. There was always a storm blowing, a ship sinking, a tumultuous sky pushing me down. Unpredictable waves washed away my self esteem, furious coats of foam covered my successes, opaque clouds blocked the light out from my vision.

My experience with love had been that of an employee; deliver, or you’ll be fired. The only significant relationship I had before you was quite pathetic. A sick, sick man stuck his greedy tentacles in my bare bone marrow and sucked the innocence out of it. I was so low that he found a way in. I couldn’t see, so the dragon wore a coat of feathers. I furtively touched his back and trusted he was a harmless turkey -he sounded like one. Blinded by my youthful insecurities I followed him like a sheep does any man carrying a stick.
He himself was lost though, led me into the barb wire, and fed me to the wolves to save his own skin.

Oh if only I had loved myself more, I wouldn’t have been susceptible to his awful spells.

But it did make me stronger. He taught me that I deserve much, much more. He taught me that loud mouths have skin deep wit.
Your unconditional love and respect have changed everything. It’s only since you’ve loved me that I know that threatening to leave me isn’t a normal way to deal with difference of opinion. It’s only since you’ve loved me that I realize being emotionally blackmailed isn’t an actual punishment for some fault of mine. It’s only since you’ve loved me that I can see my shortcomings without being afraid you’ll resent me for them.

I hate how words fail me.

You are the strongest man I have ever laid eyes on. I used to think strength was power, making other people do things, I used to think authority over others was the externalization of someone’s inner sway. It’s only since you’ve been in my life that my eyes have slowly been opened to what true strength is.
When you are wrong, you can put your pride aside and admit it. I had never been around a man who could do that. You are always on the hunt for things that you could do better, and you consciously make an effort not to look for the same thing in others around you. You rarely complain, and when you do, it’s an aware and premeditated indulgence. You shed light on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. You showed me that true strength is relentless attempts at bettering oneself. It’s not so much about the result, as it is about the readiness to change. And the acceptance that there is no such thing as a goal, but only a journey and willpower. Willpower is not something you’re given a limited amount of, it’s something you use to relinquish thoughts and feelings that weigh your heart down.
Forgiving without reservations takes honesty and humility, and you have more of that than I knew was possible. I had started to believe men like you were only real in the movies, but fuck me sideways here we are.

You are my example.